Holy Crap! That's me!

Last week I was driving my two babies around as we completed a cycle of endless tasks when it all of the sudden hit me: holy crap! I. Am. The. Mom. Seriously. It took me two years to realize this. Unbelievable.

My older baby is 19-months old and I still often write "Judy Adams" when I am asked to name the mother at the pediatrician's. I mean, afterall, she is MY mom so surely that's who they are asking for, right? Much to my continuing disbelief, they mean ME! I. Am. The. Mom.

My younger child is almost three months, yet on the family tree his first-year calendar asked me to complete, I named MY grandparents instead of my parents as grandparents. So oblivious was I to the obvious, that I considered writing the company and asking them to "fix" the family tree portion as they had not provided enough spaces.

Eventually it becomes real, right? Do I struggle with it because it means accepting that I have entered a remarkably different stage in my life? Will I start wearing mom jeans? I already wear sensible shoes and am not a fashion maven; does being a mom mean my fashion standards will fall even further? I've already realized that my family wants to see my babies more than me (totally ok) and that gifts from everyone except my husband will mostly take the shape of family or baby gifts (again, totally ok). Will my car choices always reflect the number of car seats and space we need for assorted accoutrement that accompanies a growing (literally!) family.

Does this mean that I always have to be selfless? patient? controlled? Three traits that I struggled with before children . Maybe that's the ultimate challenge of being a mom; having to embrace and excel at those characteristics that we struggle with before we have children. Will I think of the "mom" label every time I lean in to kiss my husband or we get handsy with each other?

How do the labels interact? Can I fit "wife, mom, professional, closet dancer, car singer, book lover, vegetarian, earth advocator, friend, daughter, sister, animal owner" all on one card? Is that the order that I see myself? Does this fluctuate? For the last five years, "wife' was my dominant label; now, for survival's sake, "mom" overpowers the others. What does it mean if "mom" is not always my favorite?